Children who know that they have been adopted are haunted by uncertainties. Why didn’t my biological family want me? Does either of my parents miss me? Does my mother remember me on my birthday? Have I inherited some condition or predilection that I need to be aware of to protect my health and well-being? Do I have siblings that might be happy to know me? Yes, an abundance of questions exist post adoption for all concerned, but the answers are often allusive, and presumably unattainable.
There are a few things to consider throughout our search:
Name Change:
In a quest for someone to find a biological (birth) parent, it is essential to consider the possibilities of a name change. This is more specific to finding a birth mother, as a marriage or divorce can change the last name. Not having such information could cause unnecessary stress and discouragement in the search. When possible, get as much information on both birth parents as humanly possible. The more information obtained prior to the search, the easier it can be to get the results that are being sought.
Documents:
The best way to be familiar with the adoption process is to review the documents that would be used in an adoption. This can be used as a guide to the information needed in finding a biological parent. If the entire or most of the paperwork can be filled out, then enough information is probably retained to begin the search. If there is not enough information available, it may be necessary to get more info before continuing in the search. The adoptive parents may be able to assist in this part of the search. If they are unwilling, then any information you have on them may be helpful in finding the adoption agency they may have used and through that possibly track it back to the birth parent.
In learning about the adoption process, it is important to seek advice and information, and become familiar with the many agencies and resources available. Find all of the available records in the state, county, local and national facilities where the child was born. It can be overwhelming, but persistence can pay off. In the Directory section of the State and National Records, some useful information can be found, and help in finding answers to some of the questions that were not answered up until this point. The records should have valuable and useful information on the location of the birth parents at the time of the child’s birth.
Some key information to have for a more effective search will be the birth parents names. Find out if the biological parents were married to one another. The location they lived in around the birth of the child that was put up for adoption. If able to find the location of the birth parent or parents find out if they have or had family in the area they lived in. Sometimes a physical description will be in the original adoption paperwork, which can be useful in a search. The occupation each birth parent had around the time of the birth of the child is also useful.